Safer Sex as Self-Care
Safer sex has taken on new layers of meaning since COVID-19 arrived. Journalist Morgan Mandriota at Psych Central explores how safer sex can be a form of self-care with myself and Dr. Sara C. Flowers, VP of education at Planned Parenthood.
Read the full article here or an excerpt below:
Self-care is what it sounds like: it’s about taking care of yourself. No matter how you approach it, practicing self-care ultimately serves as a way to restore and improve our well-being. This includes our mental, emotional, physical, and sexual health. Although the pandemic challenged how we navigate sex and intimacy, there are many ways to safely pursue pleasure and connection.
Protection from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) through use of barriers is a key part of practicing safer sex. Certified sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver, adds that not fluid bonding can help to protect the vagina’s sensitive pH balance. “[Its pH] can be easily disrupted by sperm and bacteria, causing yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, or general discomfort. It can be a wonderful self-care policy to use barriers and keep your vulva happy.”
Before having sex, it’s strongly recommended that all partners get tested and share their results. This is an important step so that everyone is well informed about any potential risks and can grant informed consent. Ultimately, it’s up to you to know and disclose your status and request your partner’s as well.
“Being open about sexual health is sexy,” adds Stray Conger. “A partner who doesn’t seem to know when they were last tested is a red flag.” Having these conversations with potential partners as early as possible will help you align with those who share similar values (e.g., sexual health).
One silver lining of the pandemic is that we’ve become more comfortable talking about how our behaviors can impact others’ health. “We’ve seen COVID conversations modeled in public discourse in a way that sexual safety rarely is, which has helped to normalize all discussions about personal safety, “ adds Stray Conger.
To avoid COVID-19 exposure, some folks have leaned into connecting virtually via texting and apps. Video platforms like FaceTime, Zoom, and Skype allow you to connect with partners however you want safely — sexually or not.
If you’d rather not have sex IRL just yet, consider trying a virtual mutual masturbation session. This option is great for safer connection during and after the pandemic. Even the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends it.
Phone sex may not be for everyone. “But for people who have been hyper-vigilant about COVID for any reason, [it] might be the most relaxing option,” says Stray Conger. “You can feel [safer] about anything transmissible, and your partner gets a chance to see what kind of verbal, visual, or touch stimulation you enjoy.”